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Podcast Episode 03. Hear from Emily Hughes, an expert in developing social skills, about the tools and tactics that can be used to help develop social skills.
Learn how important it is to ask the right questions and not just provide the right answers to reinforce a script. Listen to ideas on how to build confidence and resilience.

Show Notes

[1.00]  –   All about Emily Hughes and how she got to where she is now
[1.30]  –   The importance of actually teaching social skills from an early age
[4.30]  –   Examples of the types of language to use
[5.30]  –   Putting in place the building blocks of friendship
[6.15]  –   Using scripts to navigate any type of situations
[7.15]  –   The work of Mark Le Messurier
[10.00] –  Reinforcing skills using leading questions
[14.00] –   How a social skills programme works starting with meet and greet scripts
[16.00] –   What’s the buzz, show me the buzz, do you know the buzz, the buzz, goodbye buzz – What they all mean
[18.00] –   Using groups and common interests to enhance the learning of scripts
[21.30] –   Leveraging your support network
[23.00] –   Never provide the answers just ask the right questions to build confidence
[29.45] –   The value of having a mentor
[33.40] –   Build resilience through achievable goals, meeting challenges and learning from each
[36.00] –   Practice every day and celebrate every little success
[38.30] –   Collecingt the knowledge and deciding what works for you.

Key Takeaways
Anyone can build their social skills with the right tools and tactics
Celebrate the little successes

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Podcast Episode 04. Hear a former police officer talk about how to deal with authority in a more positive way.

Ian is an ex-police officer who dealt with incidents where young people with additional needs were involved.  He saw how a lack of understanding on both sides could often turn difficult situations into highly stressful experiences for everyone.
Sometimes figures of authority lack experience in dealing with people with additional needs.  Similarly, people with additional needs lack experience dealing with people in authority.  This can be a huge problem in testing situations, when tensions are high.
The answer, according to Ian, is education on both sides.  He talks about how important it is for a young person or their parents/carers to explain why they are behaving in a particular way.  He provides advice on how to get rid of the unease, and sometimes even fear, that young people with additional needs have of anyone in authority.  Ian also gives tactics you can use to make future encounters with anyone in authority a positive experience for everyone.
Ian speaks from experience.  He was a police officer of 34 years of standing and has experience with the UK Border Agency.  He is also a parent to a child with additional needs.  He reminds us that if our young people need help in the future, it might well be the police they turn to.  If they fear the police, then their request for help might not be received quite so well

Show Notes
[.45] – About Ian and his experience as a police officer
[1.30] – Need for parents to understand there is often a lack of training
[3.30] – Make sure explain to the police officer the needs of the individual
[6.30] – Encourage children to be proactive with police officers and approach them
[8.20] – Essential skill is to develop confidence in dealing with authority
[10.30] – How to manage an airport encounter or similar stressful situation
[12.30] – Try to reduce the stress by increasing familiarity with authority
[16.15] – Not all encounters need to end badly
[16.45] – Explain but don’t apologise
[19.15] – Talk to young people about dealing with authority and how they should expect to be treated but also how they should treat the authorities

Key Takeaways
Take the time to explain to the person in authority what the issues are
Be proactive and find ways to engage with authority figures and make them more familiar to young people with additional needs

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Podcast Episode 05. Independent living means having your own place to live. Finding that place isn’t always easy. In this episode Julia, a landlord who is renting out a property to young people with additional needs, tells us why. We hear that finding a place to rent requires perseverance and sometimes a dose of optimism. For the landlord, it requires thinking more about the person and less about their credit score. For a parent, there are strategies for making it easier for a young person with additional needs to find a place to live in the private rental sector. If you’re a landlord already, hear why renting out to young people with additional needs makes financial sense as well as social sense

Show Notes

[0.45] –   All about Julia and her background
[1.30] –   The difficulties in finding a house to rent
[2.30] –   Why some of these difficulties arise
[3.40] –   Why a credit history matters
[5.20] – Why a higher deposit night be needed
[7.00] – The role of parents
[7.45] – The different challenges of different types of tenants
[8.30] – Why people with additional needs make good tenants
[9.00] – Ways to put support in place
[11.15] – The many advantages of taking tenants with additional needs
[13.15] – The benefits of being part of the wider community for the young people
[14.00] – The lack of actual tenants?
[17.00] – Practicalities of house size and layout
[18.00] – Don’t dismiss the private sector and approach agency’s and landlords

Key Takeaways
Perseverance and being honest up front about what is required
Look at ways to build a credit score
If you’re a landlord look at person not just their credit score

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Podcast Episode 06. Sibling relationships are never easy, especially if one sibling has additional needs. This week I talk to Julie, a mother of 2 children, about her experiences and the challenges. She talks about the tactics she uses to make family life work for everyone and her ideas for creating a sibling bond through shared activities. She also explains why she believes it’s important to manage family expectations when it comes to being a carer for a sibling with additional needs once parents are no longer around. If your children are struggling with being a sibling, then Julie has some ideas that might resonate with you and your family dynamics.

Show Notes

[.35]     – All about Julie and her family
[1.20]   – Sibling relationships and trying to manage it
[2.30]   – Trying to create empathy between siblings
[4.20]   – Managing expectations about responsibilities towards your siblings
[6.15]   – How social situations can cause friction between siblings
[8.00]   – What is a normal sibling relationship?
[10.00] – The benefits of having a sibling in helping develop social skills
[11.00] – What the future sibling relationship might be like
[11.45] – How socialising at home helps build the sibling relationship
[12.30] – Bringing siblings closer thorough shared projects or tasks

Key Takeaways
Sibling rivalry is normal
Find projects or tasks sibling can work on together
Reassure siblings that while they are not expected to be responsible for their sibling they do have responsibilities as a sibling.

SHOW FULL TRANSCRIPT

Useful Resources
Sibs – For brothers and sisters
Sibling Issues
Siblings Australia
Sibling Leadership Network

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Podcast Episode 07. Preparation and practice: these are the keys to interview success. 

This is the advice from Sam, an experienced HR director, who this week shares her expertise on how to not only survive the interview but how to succeed. She covers what needs to be included in a CV, and discusses questions you should expect as well as could ask. Sam explains the importance of role playing, particularly for young people with additional needs, and how to deal with the unexpected during the interview. She offers tactics to help young people facing their first interviews for work and college as well as insights into what interviewers are really looking for.
Show Notes
[.35]    – About Sam and her role as a HR director
[1.25] – What to put on your CV
[3.00] – How long should a CV be?
[4.30] – Preparation before the interview
[6.50] – What are good answers to give to questions about your strengths?
[7.30] – The importance of reading the job specification/advert
[8.15] – Role playing in preparation
[9.00] – Questions to ask the interviewer
[13.00] – Following up after the interview and getting feedback
[15.30] – Using pre-prepared scripts
[16.30] – Second interviews
[18.00] – How much to say in the interview about your additional needs

Key Takeaways
Preparation and practice
Using the job description as guide to what to expect in the interview

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Podcast Episode 08. Matching clothes to the occasion is a challenge for us all. This week Elika Gibbs, owner of Practical Princess, is here to help. She professionally advises her clients on fashion and the organisation of wardrobes. Elika introduces us to the ‘look book’, and discusses the challenges of helping a young person with additional needs organise their wardrobes. She believes in the value of organisation and suggests this is one of the many keys to independence.

Show Notes
[.35]   – About Elika, her company and what she does
[2.30] – Think about lifestyle and what works for that
[3.30] – Developing your own style
[7.00] – The look book
[10.45] – The importance of repetition in being organised
[11.30] – Everything has a place in the house
[13.30] – Dressing when fine motor skills are an issue
[15.00] – Be patient and encouraging
[18.30} – Dealing with personal hygiene issues

Key Takeaways
Find Your Own Style
The Look Book

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Podcast Episode 09. With perseverance many great things can be achieved. Sarah is living proof of this with her son Jacob, who has Asperger’s. In this two part podcast we will hear how Sarah guided Jacob through school and gave him the skills to succeed in quite a demanding job. This really is a success story that is inspiring and one we would all be happy with for our own sons and daughters.

In this first part, we hear how Jacob had difficulty coping at school in the beginning, and how Sarah took the unusual step of volunteering to be his 1:1 support in the classroom during his primary school education (ages 5-11). From this Sarah gained a unique perspective on the classroom, and she used this knowledge to teach and model all the skills that come more naturally to most children. She is honest about both the lows and highs, and the challenges she and her son faced as Jacob gradually became a successful teenager.

His high school years also had its difficulties, but he did graduate with A levels (the highest qualification taken in the UK school system). Next week we will hear about his job, and some more of Sarah’s advice. But this week, we focus on the story of Jacob’s school years.

Show Notes
[.35] – All about Sarah and her son Jacob
[1.35] – Primary school and the challenges for him and for his family
[2.30] – Moving to a smaller school doesn’t solve the problems
[3.20] – Sarah become Jacobs 1-1 support in class at the age of 7
[5.00] – Modelling skills and scripts for interactions
[7.00] – Moving away slowly from close support
[10.45] – Finding the right secondary school
[11.30] – ‘He’s my son’ a moment of pride
[12.30] – When having a label can actually be a benefit
[13.40] – Jacob finds his own tribe
[14.50] – Engaging with and teaching the teachers
[16.45] – Using the drive to school as an opportunity to ask and answer questions
[17.10] – The future is positive and practical and vocational

Key Takeaways
Modelling skills and scripts from a young age
Loving you is easy living with you isn’t always quiet as easy

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Podcast Episode 10.  Proof that perseverance pays off is shown by Jacob and Sarah as Sarah explains the second part of Jacob’s story: leaving school.  Jacob has ambitions to work in the music industry, and is currently holding down a testing job as a barman to save money towards a year long course at Abbey Road Studios, London.

Sarah briefly recaps where Jacob is at the moment before she explains how successful he has been since leaving school.  Sometimes he deals with difficult customers, in trying situations, and he has learnt strategies to cope with the demands and challenges he now faces.

Towards the end Sarah gives some final thoughts about their journey and a few tips we could all bear in mind, even if we don’t have the opportunity  to support in school the way she did.  Sarah is justifiably proud of her son Jacob, and he should be an  inspiration to all of us as to what is possible.

Show Notes
[1.00] – Where Jacob is today
[1.20] – How social media and Minecraft helped Jacob develop confidence in relationships
[3.30] – Challenges of working and ways in which Jacob manages them
[6.30] –  Dealing with difficult customers
[8.00] – Jacob inspiring others
[9.00] – Set rules and boundaries but make home a safe haven
[11.00] – Be careful Always check what you’re told
[12.30] – Talking through social situations. When, how and what expression to use

Key Takeaways
Keep talking
Success is possible

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Podcast Episode 11.  Andy, father to a son with ASD and ADHD, takes a strategic view of independence, rather like a business plan. Because he does this, he and his wife have a clear vision of what they hope their son will be able to do age 21.

If their plan needs a little longer to be achieved, Andy is ok with this.  He says, ‘Being a kid is just a 15 year period of their lives, but they are going to be adults for 50 years.’  It doesn’t matter if his son takes more time to achieve the same independence as his siblings.

But by focusing on where we want our children to be at 21, it’s a much longer plan.  It relieves some of the frustrations we all feel by being in a hurry for our children to reach the same milestones as quickly as other children.  Small steps with low expectations but with long term goals with high expectations is a balanced approach that we could all learn from.

Show Notes
[.45]      – All about Andy and his son George
[1.15]   – The role of siblings leading by example
[3.00]   – Planning for the long term
[4.45]   – Setting up challenging scenarios to learn coping behaviors
[7.25]   – How independence actually decreases vulnerability
[8.15]   – Using routines
[9.50]   – Long term objectives come from the short term strategies
[12.20] – The dilemma of holding on or letting go
[14.00] – Explaining why you’re pushing them toward independence
[15.00] – Going at their speed

Key Takeaways
Small steps towards long term goals

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Podcast Episode 12.  The forest is a great place to learn about ourselves as well as the rhythms of nature, according to Laura Ashfield an outreach worker at the Surrey Wildlife Trust.  More than this, she passionately believes the forest is a place that can help us discover our place in the world.

Discovering a place in the world, we know as parents to children with additional needs, is very important. Sometimes feelings of insecurity can be overwhelming. Maybe the forest and forest schools could hold part of the answer.

Laura shares her experiences as an outreach worker, and gives some uplifting examples of young people she’s worked with. The ethos of forest school is straightforward: it’s all about developing resilience, self-esteem and independence.

Forest schools are self-directed to give young people, who may in other areas of their lives feel like they have little control, a space to be themselves and do what they want to do in a safe but challenging environment. Laura also points out that there is time in the woods to just be and that ultimately boredom breeds creativity.

Show Notes
[.50] – All about Laura, role and what the Surrey Wildlife Trust does
[2.00] – What a forest school is all about which is self-directed learning
[2.30] – Opportunities for risky play within guidelines and with support
[4.50] – Ethos of forest schools – building resilience, self-esteem and independence
[6.00] – Learning to cooperate, negotiate, work as a team and express positive and negative emotions
[7.55] – ‘Adults not on Top on Tap’
[8.30] – Using the woods to develop motor skills
[9.30] – Allowing time in the woods
[11.25] – Boredom breeds creativity
[12.40] – Finding your own forest school and what to do when you’re out there
[13.40] – Age is no barrier
[14.50] – Finding perspective
[15.30] – Getting into ‘flow state’
[18.40] – It’s the process not the product that matters
[19.30] – Transferring skills learnt to outside the forest
[20.45] – Self-knowledge leads to resilience and persistence

 

Key Takeaways
Using outdoor places to find a place and space in the world
Boredom breeds creativity

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