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Podcast Episode 28. Being listened to and being understood are important to us all, but this can be difficult when you struggle to find a common language. Language is the way we communicate and if you can’t communicate with others the impact can be devastating. This week I talk with Veronica, Mum to Emma, who has a speech and language impairment. Veronica explains what this means for Emma and her family.

Veronica guides us through her daughter’s diagnosis and the difficulties they had in getting others to acknowledge the problem, and then how that should be addressed. She also talks about the impact of getting a diagnosis and the feelings that come with that.

Veronica discusses the importance of finding people that can support your family and have an understanding what you are going through. She talks about how she found a support network and how it helped her daughter and the whole family. Veronica reminds us that people don’t need to be going through the exact same thing as you to understand how you are feeling.

Finally, Veronica talks about how important it is to teach our children to demand to be listened to and to value their voice. These skills can then be used outside the home to help them become more independent.

Finding a common language helps us be heard by others who can offer support, understanding and remind us we are never alone.

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Podcast Episode 29. Being able to see properly can really transform a child’s life according to Antonia Chitty. As a qualified optometrist and author Antonia is passionate about getting all children’s sight checked. She explains that many parents feel daunted at the prospect of taking their child with additional needs for an eye test. However, as she explains children don’t need to be able to read or communicate verbally to have their eyes tested. Antonia also talks about the signs to look out for that indicate eye issues including preferring things to be close up, squinting and headaches. Antonia provides some very practical tips for dealing with eye tests as well and some useful resources to look at.

We also discuss relationships, an area in which Antonia has also written, and the effect having a child with additional needs can have on relationships – in particular, the relationship between the parents. Many parents report that they feel isolated when their child has an additional need. They often feel that they don’t have anyone or anywhere to discuss the pressures put upon their relationship. It can be very dividing. Antonia advises to go and get help, acknowledge that it’s taking its toll, and reminds us there are strategies available to help us.

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Podcast Episode 30. It is possible to create a viable business while employing people with additional needs and this week’s podcast guest proves that. Nick O’Shea is the founder of Ignition Brewery in London, a successful business employing people with additional needs. At Ignition Brewery it’s all about the beer because as Nick has found his customers don’t mind who’s making the beer as long as it tastes good!

Nick’s journey started whilst he was a regular volunteer at a UK charities event (Mencap’s Tuesday Club) – where people with additional needs meet to socialise. He noticed that most of the people he talked to there wanted 2 things a relationship and a job. Nick didn’t want to start a matchmaking service so he decided to find a way to employ people with additional needs. He looked for a business which was labour-intensive and had repetitive tasks which would suit the people he would eventually employ, but that would also lead to an economically viable business. Ignition Brewery was the result.

Nick explains it has not been without its challenges. It took six months to find a suitable place to brew. When they first started brewing they brewed about 20 batches of beer, some of it was good and some of it was bad! Currently they bottle around 1000 bottles a week. They plan to double that in the near future. They supply local pubs, restaurants and sell at local events as well.

One area Nick talked about was his suprise at the lack of support from other orgnisations involved in the care of people with addtional needs He believes there is more of a focus on providing palliative care and a lack of care based on developing people and allowing them to move on and achieve more with their life.

We also discuss the future plans which include a bar which will create more employment opportunities. As Nick points out technological advances, such as contactless payments, mean that more service jobs are now a reality for people with additional needs.

While Ignition might be based in London the model could be replicated, could be used in other communities and for other types of businesses. This is all about what people CAN do not whether they have additional needs or not.

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Podcast Episode 31. “We all want friends, a misconception about people on the spectrum is that they don’t want friends”Jamie Wheeler tells us in this week’s podcast.  Jamie runs Austen’s Autistic Adventures, based in Richardson, Texas, a social group where people over the age of 18 can meet friends and engage in fun activities to develop their social skills.

Jamie explains that when her daughter graduated from High School, she lost her peer group as people moved on with the next stages of their lives. Where her daughter had once found comfort in the school choir and theatre groups, there was suddenly a void.

Determined to ensure that her daughter didn’t remain alone, she gave up her career as a college professor and launched a programme that was financially accessible to all and provided daily activities to allow members to experience real friendship relationships and reap the benefits of being part of a social group.

Jamie talks about the challenges of setting up the project and the ongoing battles she has with funding. She talks about the difference it’s made to young people’s lives and the future, as well as top tips for anyone who’s considering setting up something similar.The main struggle Jamie faced when setting up was not knowing where to find people. She faced this challenge head on by using social media, setting up a website and getting the programme out by word of mouth.

Jamie tips for setting up similar groups include
1. Stay community-based
2. Talk to small businesses
3. Have a great social media presence
4. Be truly dedicated to it – don’t be afraid to talk to others

Jamie believes that daily interaction with others, both on and off the spectrum, improves social functioning. This is the case at home and in the community. Furthermore, by going out every day, the community at large gets to know people with autism as individuals, which leads to more, and better, employment and volunteer opportunities.

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Podcast Episode 32. The best way to boost the self-esteem of our children is to let them have their say, give them a voice and help them to feel a sense of control, according to Soli Lazarus this week’s podcast guest.

Soli has a son with ADHD and so knows some of the struggles parents have first hand, as well as being a teacher for over 30 years. Her consultancy Yellow Sun delivers support and advice to parents of children with additional needs and challenging behaviour.

Soli believes one of the biggest issues for children with additional needs is suffering from low self-esteem due to society pressuring them from a young age to conform to the ‘norm’. Children may interrupt, be disorganised, be inattentive and so from an early age they are branded as naughty and constantly being told off. Consequently, their self-esteem plummets.

To help deal with this Soli talks about how important it is to provide our children with routine, whilst also giving them responsibilities so that they can be rewarded and praised. She discusses the importance of giving them the opportunity to make decisions when at home, because school can often be a very rigid place with little chance for make independent choices. By giving them the choice and the power, they feel listened to. Soli also addresses how this giving of more choice can impact on siblings and ways to deal with any feelings of jealousy they may have.

As an experienced teacher, Soli also talks about what she sees as an outdated education system focused on times tables when the focus should be on technology solutions which children with additional needs can access much easier. She explains how children with additional needs often feel happier online and this is a great way to counteract the difficulties surrounding making face-to-face social networks. Soli feels that using online tools can help to develop social skills and move them to a point where they can say they have real friends. Obviously, this all needs to be done in a safe environment and she reminds us that as parents we need to make sure we keep up to date as much as possible with the online world.

Soli talks also about frazzled parents and offers some suggestions to deal with those feelings of overwhelm. She talks about the importance of taking a moment out of every day to do something for yourself without feeling any guilt. She also talks about her own experiences of being lonely and feeling like she was the only one in her situation when her son was diagnosed. For her finding others who understood even a little of what she was going through was essential in helping her move forward.

The main idea from Soli is about sending messages to our children that help them build their self-esteem, develop their strengths and let them know that if they fail, that’s ok, it’s just a part of living their own lives.

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Podcast Episode 34. The term ‘letting go’ means different things to different people. Sometimes as parents we have to let go of our own expectations of what our children’s lives will look like.This was the case for this week’s guest Fiona who found that once she let go of her own expectations it opened up a new world of possibilities. Originally from the UK but now living in the US Fiona shares her story about why she believes letting go of expectations was the best solution for her family.

Fiona has two sons with autism and she starts by talking about the struggles to get a diagnosis for her oldest son, Hamish, so that he could get the support he needed. Part of the problem was that because her son was coping with the school work but not with the school environment the professional couldn’t really see a problem. However, once he was observed in school the issues were acknowledged although it did take another 18 months to get the actual diagnosis.

Fiona also talks about those early school years and about how engaging with other parents at her son’s school at least helped resolve some of the issues at school. She feels that by talking to other parents we can break down some of the assumptions being made about our children.

Once they moved to the US and Hamish was by this time older a different set of issues arose. One result of this was that Hamish was put onto medication which turned out to be a huge mistake. As time went on, Fiona realised that Hamish needed a change…they all did. So, when Hamish turned 16, Fiona and her husband decided that they weren’t going to force their child through the education system any longer. So, they pulled him out of school, and she believes that was the best decision they ever made. This took away the pressure of expectations on him and has enabled him to figure out what is the best way forward for him.

Fiona’s advice to other parents is to let go of expectations that you and everyone else around you might have about what they should be doing. The focus needs to be what is best for them as an individual. It is never going to be easy to suspend our expectations because we all want what is best for our children but sometimes we need to let them go find their own solutions.

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Podcast Episode 35. A social enterprise must first achieve success as an enterprise before they can deliver on any of their social objectives, that is the message from this week’s podcast guest David Hunter. David is the CEO of Acceptable Enterprises Ltd (AEL) who are based in Larne, Northern Ireland and provide employment opportunities for young people with additional needs.

AEL do this across a diverse range of industries from manafacturing bottled water to selling products online. The innovative array of industries in which AEL operate in has resulted in a very successful business in terms of both turnover and providing an increasing number of work opportunities for young people with additional needs.

One of the successful businesses is an ethical bottled water line called ‘Clearer Water,’ each bottle has a unique trace code that a consumer can type into an app on their phone. Doing this provides a stream of information such as the PH rating, mineral content and temperature of the product BUT it also delivers information about the person who bottled the water such as their hobbies, the music they like to listen to and what football team they support. Another business achieving success is the online business selling a variety of products on eBay and Amazon. The focus is on quality which as David explains is why AEL has extremely high levels of customer satisfaction on both eBay and Amazon.

David also discusses why companies need to understand that if they employ people with additional needs it doesn’t mean that the quality of their product or service will diminish as a result. As he says for many employers, the prospect of making reasonable adjustments when hiring employees with disabilities can be quite daunting. However, AEL has numerous proven ideas to illustrate to employers how simple reasonable adjustments can be.

AEL also believe in ensuring that all the businesses they operate have a diverse workforce, so they try to ensure that they follow a model where the workforce is made up of 1/3 people with additional needs, 1/3 people who have had challenges in their lives and 1/3 people from the local community. David argues that creating a workforce in this way reduces social isolation and is also more reflective of the wider world of work.

David also shares some words of advice for others who want to establish a similar company or organisation to help employ young people with additional needs. His advice is to look for a particular problem in your community that you want to tackle and then to use social enterprise as a means to combat that problem. Also look at the online sales world where you can reach millions of customers easily. The crucial part is coming up with the idea or concept for generating the income and using that income to deliver your social objectives.

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Podcast Episode 36. Planning ahead helps us reach our goals, and although we can’t prepare for everything, a plan gives us a general direction to travel and can even help us identify a final destination. In this week’s episode, we hear from Laura who has helped her son Jonathon plan ahead. This planning has enabled him to create a vision for his independent future, as well as prepare for the unexpected.

We start Laura’s story with Jonathan at primary school struggling to access education but finally, after a legal fight, he was placed in a school which could provide the support he needed. Jonathon is now 19 and just about to leave full-time education. Laura spoke about a variety of issues they have worked on related to independence including cooking, cleaning, shopping and learning to drive. Laura talks about enabling her son to be independent but in a very structured way.

One important part of Laura’s strategy was always planning ahead, particularly when it comes to thinking about work.  She suggests sitting down with your child and talking about what they want to do and to making a list. Don’t just leap into the dark, instead, take time and think about it, brainstorm and write it all down. Then, go through the list together and consider each option carefully. Once you’ve done this, you’re ready to plan with a purpose, and you can use the plan as the basis to start moving forward.

Planning five years ahead, or even ten, might sound difficult but working out where you want your young person to be in five/ten years’ time and how you’re going to help them get there is surely better than hoping it all works out in the end. As Laura says, “..never concentrate on the present, it’s the future you’ve got to always be thinking about.”

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Podcast Episode 37. The challenge of stepping back and letting our children take risks and make mistakes is never easy. How to deal with this challenge is the theme of this week’s podcast where I speak to Lisa Campbell, a Speech and Language Therapist, and Milla Johnson, an Occupational Therapist. Lisa and Milla discuss why parents/carers should try to step back more to enable their children to develop the skills they will need to live independently.

The main focus of our conversation is around how to develop the daily living skills needed to live independently. These include shopping, independent travel and money skills. Milla and Lisa offer practical ideas on how to develop these skills. For shopping that can include having a categorized shopping list and thinking about what time to go shopping.

When it comes to encouraging financial independence and learning how to manage money, Lisa and Milla talk about the technology which can help as well as how to make family activities, like going to the movies, opportunities to practice both money and social skills. They also discuss ways in which to develop cooking skills, including simplifying recipes into a few easy to follow steps.

However, they warn against using every opportunity you have as a learning opportunity, instead focus on a few areas at a time. Learning independent life skills needs to be fun for young people, or they will give up because it feels like a chore. Let them see the purpose of it and try to make it as natural as possible.

Milla and Lisa also talked about the importance of letting young people know that it’s okay to make mistakes and that they can actually learn from them. It’s vital that we take a step back and allow our children to make mistakes so that they can learn to safely problem solve and come up with solutions to fix the problem. It is this skill that they will most need if they are to be truly independent of us.

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